Your reunion is waiting (last post)

Dear followers of Never Give Up Mom,

Today is the first day of 2018 and a new start for all of us. I want to thank you all for following me and commenting, supporting and loving me and Darian and our journey, from wherever you are.

It’s time to move on from Never Give Up Mom and take my focus to the next chapter of  my life. Our update: My son and I continue to keep in touch, I feel solid in our communication and I know for sure our physical presence of each other isn’t the most important component of our relationship, though I love to see him, our heart connection is far stronger.

I’ll continue to work with horses as I am now with a Mustang named Faith at the Sweet Pepper Ranch and this year I’m offering four Retreats for Women at their Ranch. Our Wonder and Beauty Retreats include equine inspired activities, beauty makeovers, organic food, yoga, and more! This was birthed from my desire to share all I have been gifted from Dr. Lambert and many others along my healing path.


Together again !

It’s time for your Reunion to Yourself, in your Relationships and your Big Dreams! 

Time goes by fast as you’ll see here in my compilation of my time with my son. He’s 20 now, and it’s my time to share all that I’ve discovered along the way.

Sending you all love and blessings for an incredible New Year and the Reunion of your Hearts.



Would love for you to be a part of my Joy!

Dear followers of Never Give Up Mom,

This post truly shows how much can change for the better. I published my book, Wonder and Beauty: My Journey from Heartbreak to Healing through the Wonder of Horses, last October. Right after I pressed send to publish my book, my son and I met in person for the first time in eight years! I’ve spoken at several venues and have many podcast interviews coming out this year. I’ve been asked to join the iconic Book Passage in San Francisco,@bookpassageferrybuilding, for an author’s event, September 16th @3:30 at their Ferry building location. If you can make it I’d love to meet you and sign my book for you. Thank you for all the years and many prayers you’ve sent to me and my son. They were heard.

With great appreciation,


The Art of Longing and Belonging

Hello readers of NGUM!

This is my first video I’ve done for NGUM. Things can and do change so quickly. Be gentle with yourselves. Be kind and caring to yourselves. Be around people that love and support you. I could have never have imagined the life I get to live now.


Everyday isn’t perfect but it is so much more beautiful than I could have ever imagined it being years ago. I just saw my son for the second time this week, after our eight year separation. I had a hard time with the “longing” again after I left our meeting. I’ll always want to know my son and share as much of his life with him that he’ll allow me to.  But today I want to live my life to its fullest with or without him. My purpose is to be more than just a mother to my son. I’m still learning this lesson, and by learning this my life and heart has become so much fuller and happier.

Never Give Up Mom’s and Dad’s, never give up on you!

Lot’s of Love,


Time to change the subtitle of Never Give Up Mom, Yay!

Dear loved Son and followers of Never Give Up Mom,

There always comes the time when the title of the story has to change. In this case the blog.   Years ago when I heard your voice (my sons voice) tell my spirit to never give up I not only paid attention but your whispers helped me to change the direction I was headed.

It’s been five years and many post’s later and now it’s time to change the subtitle of this blog to:   A mothers message to the infinite possibilities of reuniting to our missing children and those we love!

The countless prayers that have accompanied my blog post and the hours that Cristal and many other friends gave this project is priceless.   I thank you all, especially Cristal, for your love and tenacity in making my reunion with my son a reality today!

So with the new spirit in subtitle a new direction for NGUM is born.   Stay tuned for my upcoming launch of my book:  “Wonder and Beauty: My journey from Heartbreak to Healing through the Wonder of Horses.”

If you’re interested in receiving information of my launch please leave me your email on this site and I’ll add it to the launch.

Thank you all for following me and God bless you and yours,

Charla….. a never give up Mom



You are Loved and Thought of Always…

Happy Holidays to you, Darian and all the readers of Never Give Up Mom,

A couple months ago we traveled to the Riverside Mission Inn to be a part of the beautiful event of my birth father’s wedding, your grandfather Lee. It was a family affair and since most of your cousins and relatives wanted to know about our meeting /reunion I decided that maybe you’d like to meet some of them.

No matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen a loved one or maybe one you’ve never met, consider this, if you are here, born that is, you have family that know of you and want to meet you in person!

Mother Teresa was quoted saying:  “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” Mother Teresa

I used to feel this way, I no longer do.

As we open the door of reunion and all that’s possible for our future, contemplate for a moment that there are many that LOVE YOU AND WANT THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

Here is the proof of the connection I’m talking about.

I wish all of the readers of NGUM a New Year Filled with Happiness, Health and Love filled Connection.


The wait is over…

Dear readers,

Where do I begin? Eight years ago the unthinkable happened to me and Darian.

This isn’t the story I’ll speak of today but within these pictures are  years of writing, sorrow and hope.Yesterday was the day of jubilation, joy and peace! We were both nervous and the prior years set us both up to doubt our meeting. I will go on to say that as I write in my upcoming book, Wonder and Beauty, we sat together “in a peace that surpasses all understanding.”

In the Ingrid Betencourt’s book, Even Silence has an End, our silence came to an end and we were joined by people that love and support us. People without judgement and malice and are happy to share our breakthrough meeting with us.

I’d like to say to others that are waiting for your breakthrough meeting, job, relationship to change course or meeting the love of your life. Set yourself free first! Set your self on a course of little or no regret.  Live in an unlimited way, even if that’s in your mind and on your vision board. Pay attention to reoccurring ideas, thoughts and signs and DO NOT dismiss the whispers of your heart. This is your True North.

I want to thank so many for your prayers and well wishes, some that have passed away but never the less saw our reunion yesterday from their place in heaven.

Never give up on your dream’s, stay the course and remember to run YOUR race…

Sure enough when you feel that longing tug deep in your soul, you’ll know your hearts desire is right around the corner.

Blessings to my son Darian and to all Never Give Up Mom followers.



A New Chapter for You and Me!

Dear loved Darian,

I know your on you’re next big chapter as a freshman in university.   What a exciting and challenging time, but my sense is your ready.   The more I write and co-create projects that are near to my heart the more I understand the most important thing I can bring to any outcome is my willingness to tune in and be apart of the creation process.

I listened to Hay House radio and Robert Holden’s show this morning and he talked about one of his daily spiritual practices.  He asked Spirit every day “what would you have me know today.”  He wrote down what came to him on a piece of paper and this guided him to take the steps to co-creating his life.

Darian, I can tell you with absolute certainty that being tuned into God led to to endure many dark years when it came to accepting this separation with you, and it also led me to finish my story of healing and reclaiming my life and it leads me to seek out speakers, authors and ideas that move me in the direction of service and joy.

So my darling son, if you feel that yearning that you need to slow it all down even for a moment, trust your intuition to do so.   True Love is always there to guide you to right answers even if it isn’t a linear line.

I’ve come to believe logic is usually made from others opinions of right or wrong, but following your heart often leads to the place where you are already.

Loved son, be well on your journey.



Darian It’s Your Time



Dear Beloved Son,

I know this month marks the end of your high school years. I also know through various inquires of mine that you are well. I couldn’t be happier for you. I’ve seen your great accomplishments in basketball and I know as a young boy how good you were then.

I remember watching you play in your games and because of my love and understanding of the sport I congratulate you for all your hard work and dedication to something that you love!

When you were born I looked for something written about the meaning of success that I thought embodied the whole truth of the word. This is what I found and I still and came upon this quote written by  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.1  

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I commend you for doing well, staying the course and now I want nothing but the very best for you as you take your leap out into the world. I am here Darian, always have been always will. Congratulations to you Son, I love you with all of my heart!


My Meeting with Nez Erok


Hello My Beloved Son Darian,

As I continue in my life to seek out and be a part of healing, hope, art, and influence, I was able to put this opportunity together with singer, film maker, counselor, and life coach, Nez Erok.

She was going to be in LA for one evening, after flying from Australia, to show her film, Laid To Rest,’ where it was an entry at the Awareness Film Festival.   I contacted her PR person and told our story of our separation, and my wish to meet her.    In fact, I needed to meet this woman that so boldly carries her message to the world.

Her message is of hope and healing through trauma, with a  profound awareness of the ugliness in domestic abuses of all kinds, and the senseless atrocities and victimization to children around the world.Charla-Nez Erok

Nez is so striking on camera…

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It Goes Fast…Darian!

Dear Loved Son,

What a relief! It’s spring … I can feel you are busy in your senior year of High School and I am sure  you are busy and maybe a bit overwhelmed.   In a few months you will graduate I assume, and with that, your “Wings” to your future will be full grown.   I have been writing, loving and mothering from this place called  Never Give Up for four years now, and yes today’s post is much easier to contemplate and begin.

I have seen some of your passion through your basketball stats on your school site and your bright and creative self in some of your videos.    Bravo Darian!!

So I will keep this post of LOVE short for you and the others that have followed Never Give Up Mom and just say, ” I am always with you.   Be Brave, have courage and love life.”

I am proud of you in ways that there are no words for…

Love you now and always,



Follow Your Bliss,Darian…


Dear Loved Son,

I am hoping you have had a wonderful start to your last year in High School!

I sense you are working hard and doing your best to get ready to step into the world as a young man. These last few precious months that are left in your primary school years are exciting times. I remember mine clearly and how anxious I was to get started on all of my dreams. There are many incredible teachers I’ve had along the way and many insightful authors,speakers and courses I still continue to engage with. I believe learning is a life long practice and I hope you feel the same too. Some of my favorites are, Maya Angelou, John F. Kennedy, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Abraham Lincoln and Dr.Wayne Dyer. There are dozens of great thought leaders I have learned from and many have been some of my best friends. So what can I give you this month to ponder? Well this man, his work and philosophies are among the most impactful and thought provoking I have come across. Maybe you have studied him? After the careers, jobs and work tracks I have had the privilege to engage in I believe the following quote from Joseph Campbell is one of the best bits of knowledge I can share with you.

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

Joseph Campbell

I love you dear son and believe in you whole-heartedly

2 years oceanLearn, Live and Experience your Life, and above all…Follow your Bliss!

Love you Darian, always will!



Anything is Possible Darian…



Dear beloved son Darian,

Happy New Year! I hope the start of this year is a good one.  I believe you are in your last year of high school and I remember that my last year of high school was filled with many to do list’s as well as lists filled with the possibility of future endeavors and dreams.

I just came back from a dream of a trip to Montreal, Canada.   For many years now I have dreamed of going to a place called Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal.

When we lived in our house in Ventura, we had the gift of being neighbors to Saint Catherine’s – By The Sea.   A convent where the nuns came from all over the world to retire, and eventually pass away.   One day, as we were picking  apricots off our tree in the back yard we met two of the sisters, Gloria and Betty.   They asked if they could have some of the fruit that was literally growing over the fence on their property.  Quiet happily we gave them bags of the delicious apricots.  That tree produced such an abundance of apricots that year that we were able to fed the neighborhood, as well as the sisters in the convent!

From that meeting on, every morning at 5:30 am, Sister Gloria and Sister Betty along with the others, would pray for us in the chapel that we could see from our bedrooms.  I visited Sister Gloria one day and she gave me a book about a man named Brother Andre.   He was a slight man that had lived through many hardships and heartbreaks in his life.  The book she gave me about Brother Andre and Mount Royal became a road map, inspiration and finally a destination for me this past holiday.  Over the past seven years of my separation with you, I have derived some extraordinary messages and experiences from God.   I have derived a kind of strength from reading Brother Andre’s story over and over again.

My visit to Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal was a DREAM come true.   I could have never put the circumstances together that got me there this past Christmas.   One day, I’d love to fill you in on the details of this story, and I have a feeling you’ll have that look of knowing in your eyes that tells me that you know how it all happened too.

I lit a candle in Oratory in your honor as I always do when I visit churches.   When I lit the candle, its flame was so strong and bright…reminded me of you.

Love you now and always,


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For the followers of Never Give Up Mom:   I want to offer words of encouragement as well as ideas that help shift the circumstances in your lives.   In honor of those you love, light a candle and say a prayer of reconciliation with the belief that you don’t have to know how to change your current condition of separation, just that one day you will be in the presence of those you love.


My Christmas Gift For You

Santuario De Chimayo

Merry Christmas Dear Son,

A couple of years ago I went to explore, pray and leave a picture of you on the wall at the Santuario De Chimayo. In the raw beauty of the New Mexican landscape is this holy place. There are numerous stories that all share the theme of miracle healing that come from visiting there and from the sacred dirt that lies in a hole in the ground in the cathedral. Santuario De Chimayo drew me into itself like a mother draws you into her arms.

I had heard about the wall of pictures and the power of prayer that came along with the intention of leaving a persons picture there. People come from all over the world, just as I had, to seek healing for their loved ones. In my case it was with my relationship with you. After registering in the chapel store and leaving a prayer request in writing the church took your picture and pinned it to the ever growing wall of people.


I felt that the journey from San Francisco to the Santuario De Chimayo was a calling.  The fog of grief about our separation with you was starting to lift. I have always felt better if I knew I was doing everything in my power to bring healing to you and our relationship.

The Gift this year is a Practice. By leaving your picture on the “Wall of Prayer”, I also left the results of our separation in Gods Hands, and with that a great deal of pain. Darian, I guess what I’m saying is, our best efforts are good enough. By journeying to the middle of the New Mexico desert and pinning your picture to a prayer wall, the only thing left to do was to was to rest knowing it was enough.

Merry Christmas Beloved Son!

Love you now and ever more,


To the followers of Never Give Up Mom: Thank you for your years of following my blog and the many encouraging comments you have made. This year I would like to leave you with this thought.  Pin any unresolved problems to the wall of prayer, through this blog and practice the most important act of forgiveness for yourself and see what happens. That could be the most precious gift you can receive. Our sons, daughters and other family members that love us, want us to be free of pain and suffering.  I am wishing for you the magic of a holy holiday season and lightness that comes from relinquishing the burdens of your past.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you and yours!!

“I can not logically explain what is going on at El Santuario, but our Lord is there, and he listens.”[March 1997] – See more at:

An Olympic Size Thanksgiving for You!

Dear loved Son,

This year is decidedly different from all the other Thanksgiving holidays. First of all, the surprises that came my way and continue to do so, have been, well, answered prayers. I have really enjoyed going back into the field of entertainment as a makeup artist and the jobs that have come my way have been phenomenal!

I got called in to do a job last minute for an artist that couldn’t do it and I ended up on a commercial for VISA.   We had 16 Olympic athletes to groom and though all of them were impressive, there was one athlete that raised the bar to it’s highest level.   Her name is Terezinha Guilhermina, and she is a runner that is blind and is a medal winner many times over!   She is Brazilian and is set to run and win in the 2016 games in Brazil.   All of the athletes have been to prior games and some of them as many as 5.

I felt so elated after finding out about the woman I was taking care of on the set that day.   Team VISA commercials will be running non-stop once they’re launched in the beginning of next year, and  I will be cheering for Terezinha to win.   She wants to win gold in all her three events and plans on bettering her times from the London games.

It never surprises me when I meet  remarkable people in the world inspiring us all to do our best and even go beyond, but I will tell you I always have deep gratitude when I am in their presence.   I am wishing you, other children, parents and family members that are not able to be with their loved this year, a magical and memorable Thanksgiving.   Today on my blog of love and connection to you we had visitors from six different countries.   Looks like this way of connecting to you has gone global!

Happy Thanksgiving Darian, with lots of LOVE,



To my Birthday Boy Darian,

I am trusting that the power that watches over you and all the love that I and others have continued to send your way, are Celebrating Your 18th Birthday with you TODAY!!!

I do remember the day of your birth with all the humorous and eventful details, but the one memory I will share with you is truly THE ONE that changed how I saw the world forever.

Within a few minutes of you being born, I asked your dad to bring you to me so I could see you.   I had had a c-section and heard you on the other side of the partition, but had not gotten a look at you yet.   As he brought you near I asked him to put your cheek on mine……

The most life changing thing happened, I felt and saw THE INCARNATION OF LOVE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME! 

Your birth was the most eventful day of my life and so today, I and so many others that know and love you through friendship, send you JOY, HAPPINESS and the prayer of your WISHES FULFILLED.

I recently attended a conference where I learned and experienced truly where joy, happiness, and fulfillment come from, and learned that just like power plants we as people, generate the Joy, Love and Happiness.  I sat with 900 people from all over the world in this conference named Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy. Over the four days I saw myself and others lives transformed.   I met people from ages 18 to 70 and we all had the same needs and desires, to Live, Love and Matter…

So here is my birthday gift for you dear son, when you come and see me, you will have an open ended ticket to Brendon Burchard’s conference for you and a friend.   I saw young men like yourself, wanting to learn how they can build a life of higher living and loving and mattering and how to do that from someone that has built that for himself and millions of others around the world.   Check out Brendon Burchard’s Youtube Videos.

So Happy Birthday My Dear SON, I am hoping it is your Best One Yet!   I am here Darian, Loving you today, tomorrow and always!


Happy Birthday