Of all the places in the world I am here and you are there, wherever that might be. I have come to believe it is truly in our minds. Possibly a little deep or confusing at this early time in this morning, but I must write to you and share about the PEACE I AM EXPERIENCING.
After too many years of striving and grieving, fighting and hiding, shaming and blaming,
I am in acceptance.
I cannot change the people that have the power to dictate your every move in your life. I never will. I have come to believe through an interview that I have seen (over and over), by a man named Gregg Braden, that ALL OF US ARE CELLULARLY A PART OF EACH OTHER. He is a scientist and visionary and speaks on this topic at length. I found this interview on one of the most valuable CD’s I own, “Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.”
In the part of his interview called “The Size Of A Little Green Pea,” he explains how if science were to take out all of the space and condense all of the atoms in this vast universe, it would all condense all of us down to the size of a Little Green Pea !
Maybe this mean nothing to you, but what I have come to believe is this, after all of the torment and fighting for my right to see and be with you, I already am with you. Maybe not in the way I wanted it to be, but I Am in the way that God sees fit for now. In the way things were it was the equivalent to putting two crazy cats in a little paper bag and pleading with them to stop their fighting.
Darian we are linked, I am your Mom. That is truth. I will always love you and no one or nothing can ever take that TRUTH away from you or me. No person, place or thing can ever change that fact. But what has changed for me is the belief that I have to continue to fight, For you. We are simply a part of each other, as you are a part of your Dad. You were conceived in love and raised up in love.
I am told you are doing well in school and with your life, and I truly do hope we can share as much of that in person someday. But if that does not ever come to pass, that will have to just be OK. Without question as I have viewed you on your YouTube videos, you are a handsome, smart and empathetic young man, and that brings a smile to not only my face, but in my heart, and a calmness to my soul.
I am so proud of you. There is only one cat in this bag and for now SHE is at PEACE.
Be well, Live in Peace, wake up early to hear birds begin their singing, they do it every day. And I noticed that if they are not, they are simply waiting for the storm to pass. And when THE STORMS DO PASS AND THEY ALWAYS DO, there is a PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING. Then the singing begins again.
No more Courts, or Lawyers, or fighting for a stance on how to raise you. THAT IS OVER FOR ME.
There is a benefit to the internet, and that is, when you have the freedom in your life, dear son to seek me out, it will not take much to find me. Just follow the cyber trail of Charla Miller and either I will be waiting for you with open arms and heart, or others will have the precious memories of your young years to give to you. Either way or neither way WE ALL CONDENSE INTO THE SIZE OF A LITTLE GREEN PEA!
I LOVE YOU DARIAN, ALWAYS HAVE ALWAYS WILL !