I have made several trips down to be with your Grandmother in recent months. She now is in her final hours of being here with all of us.
When I came home 10 days ago I flew out of Burbank Airport. It was after an arduous 2 day trip of seeing her and being “REAL” with her. When I boarded the plane it was evening, and as I looked out the window as the plane began its liftoff, I read a sign that said “FLY QUIET.”
Since this was an airport and I was on a jet I was not sure how these big planes were supposed to “FLY QUIET?”
In 48 hours so much had been addressed. Your uncle and I had spent what seemed our entire lives attached to this home, and all of the people and memories it held and contained. All of the family drama, family code of silences, and happy and surprising stories and items that had seemed to be lost, began to be found and uncovered.
You know Darian, many of us look for “signs” when those we love are dying, in order to comfort ourselves and others in these often confusing and painful times.
As I saw that sign on the tarmac of the airport and read it, just then a shooting star, veered steady and straight towards what you could call the ‘Heavens.’ Was that Grandma telling me she was working out her departure and to not worry about her?
I swear I have never seen a shooting star in LA, too dense with people and lights. But with God as my witness, that shooting star was as bright as could be and it carried my mom’s message to me, and that was clear!
Darian, while I visited with your Grandma, she reminisced about many of her childhood memories and she remember that a song she sang in the Glee Club. I took my iPhone and searched on the internet for it. The song is titled “Going Home.” It is a beautiful classic hymn, and as she began to sing it, a memory she had never shared with me until this point, I saw a woman, 92, my Mom, your Grandmother, become free of all that had gone wrong, of all that had pained her, and in her voice she started to lift off.
I had many hours to learn that even if those that have held us had hurt us, to remember that when they were holding us with their tenderness, that “It does count.”
I pondered a most important question that came to my mind, “What do I or you want to hold onto more……… the disappointment or the LOVE?”
I did contact your dad to let him know what was going on with your Grandmother, in the hope that he would allow a moment for you to workout your own Farewell with her. At this point, I have had no word from him.
Darian, you made grandma a “Grandmother,’ and I know she will carry with her for an eternity the precious memories and joy filled times with you.
God Speed, Mom. Your almost Home.
We Love You,
Charla and Darian