Time to change the subtitle of Never Give Up Mom, Yay!

Dear loved Son and followers of Never Give Up Mom,

There always comes the time when the title of the story has to change. In this case the blog.   Years ago when I heard your voice (my sons voice) tell my spirit to never give up I not only paid attention but your whispers helped me to change the direction I was headed.

It’s been five years and many post’s later and now it’s time to change the subtitle of this blog to:   A mothers message to the infinite possibilities of reuniting to our missing children and those we love!

The countless prayers that have accompanied my blog post and the hours that Cristal and many other friends gave this project is priceless.   I thank you all, especially Cristal, for your love and tenacity in making my reunion with my son a reality today!

So with the new spirit in subtitle a new direction for NGUM is born.   Stay tuned for my upcoming launch of my book:  “Wonder and Beauty: My journey from Heartbreak to Healing through the Wonder of Horses.”

If you’re interested in receiving information of my launch please leave me your email on this site and I’ll add it to the launch.

Thank you all for following me and God bless you and yours,

Charla….. a never give up Mom

 

 

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Anything is Possible Darian…

 

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Dear beloved son Darian,

Happy New Year! I hope the start of this year is a good one.  I believe you are in your last year of high school and I remember that my last year of high school was filled with many to do list’s as well as lists filled with the possibility of future endeavors and dreams.

I just came back from a dream of a trip to Montreal, Canada.   For many years now I have dreamed of going to a place called Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal.

When we lived in our house in Ventura, we had the gift of being neighbors to Saint Catherine’s – By The Sea.   A convent where the nuns came from all over the world to retire, and eventually pass away.   One day, as we were picking  apricots off our tree in the back yard we met two of the sisters, Gloria and Betty.   They asked if they could have some of the fruit that was literally growing over the fence on their property.  Quiet happily we gave them bags of the delicious apricots.  That tree produced such an abundance of apricots that year that we were able to fed the neighborhood, as well as the sisters in the convent!

From that meeting on, every morning at 5:30 am, Sister Gloria and Sister Betty along with the others, would pray for us in the chapel that we could see from our bedrooms.  I visited Sister Gloria one day and she gave me a book about a man named Brother Andre.   He was a slight man that had lived through many hardships and heartbreaks in his life.  The book she gave me about Brother Andre and Mount Royal became a road map, inspiration and finally a destination for me this past holiday.  Over the past seven years of my separation with you, I have derived some extraordinary messages and experiences from God.   I have derived a kind of strength from reading Brother Andre’s story over and over again.

My visit to Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal was a DREAM come true.   I could have never put the circumstances together that got me there this past Christmas.   One day, I’d love to fill you in on the details of this story, and I have a feeling you’ll have that look of knowing in your eyes that tells me that you know how it all happened too.

I lit a candle in Oratory in your honor as I always do when I visit churches.   When I lit the candle, its flame was so strong and bright…reminded me of you.

Love you now and always,

Mom

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For the followers of Never Give Up Mom:   I want to offer words of encouragement as well as ideas that help shift the circumstances in your lives.   In honor of those you love, light a candle and say a prayer of reconciliation with the belief that you don’t have to know how to change your current condition of separation, just that one day you will be in the presence of those you love.

 

Merry Christmas Darian!

Dear Beautiful Son Darian,

I just arrived home after an evening of music and worship at one of the amazing new coffee places in my neighborhood.   The family that started it came here originally to open a church but after several starts and stops along the way, this opportunity opened up for them and by all appearances, God in his infinite wisdom, leMy Last Christmas With Youad and prepared an inspiring place of great coffee,food and an encouraging atmosphere.   I have to admit as I go about my life church comes and goes for me, but I’m always aware that I have a deep love for God and I know that God’s love for me is always present if I chose to tune in.

The Father took the stage for the last song of the evening with his son.  They are both incredibly talented as singers, writers and musicians.

As I watched Bill, the father, play with his son on stage their joy of each others company  made me smile and cry.   It made me pray that your dad would someday really enjoy you as I had for so many years.   And in enjoying you that his joy would allow you to be free to live and love as you choose.   There is truly nothing more memorable to me than the years I had with you. Watching you grow and develop your talents, mind, athletic stature and your beautiful spirit.   If I had it my way I would be watching and cherishing every moment right now with you.   But I know our time will come again, to be together, and in that perfect timing, not a moment too soon or late, safety, joy, and happiness will surround us all with the unmistakable hand of God.

This has been a phenomenal year of growth and blessing for me and you.   You may wonder how do I know about your year since its been so many years since we have been allowed to contact each other?   The truth is simple.   What happens to me passes to you and vice-versa.   Either in time or in the present energy moment and sweet son, I know your heart, and with that your love and kindness for me and others.   I thank you for coming to me in dreams and whispers of thought.   All you convey to me is heard, felt and appreciated.

Merry Christmas Sweet Darian and A Safe and Happy 2015 To Come!

With Abundant Love For You Always,

Mom

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL SON DARIAN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SON DARIAN,

I do remember this day 17 years ago and all the minute details that went with this life changing day, for all of us. I have thought of so many things I wanted to say to you on your very special day today.   I had an idea about a little piece of paper that I still2 years ocean have, that has every contraction I had before you were born. I counted the minutes, seconds, checked in with every doctor, friend and family member,  just to make sure I was ‘doing’ it right.

Funny thing about that thought or mind set, so much of your birth and life has been out of my control.   But this post to you is clearly in my control, and as I write this letter of happiness and celebration to you, I am wishing you a wonderful day, celebrating with your friends and family as I always have.

In the picture below, Michael Muir is talking to one of his horses about being his best for it’s new owners.   I’m able to volunteer a bit of time at Rush Ranch in Susiun, Ca.   Michael’s non-profit is called,  Access Adventure, and they do many events a year to help those with disabilities and people in need of hope and healing.

This is the opening statement from Michael Muir, Director of Access Adventure, and Great grandson of the Americas Visionary Conservationist,  John Muir:

“WE FOCUS ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE,  NOT ON WHAT WE HAVE LOST.
THE WORST DISABILITY IS A BAD ATTITUDE.”

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So my dear and precious son, if I was able to gift you anything in a box or gift card today it would be  this;

Know you have the vision and tenacity to challenge your limits in life.   You are much freer to focus on your potential than it may seem, and in doing so, your intention and deeds hold all great possibilities, for you and others.   Your so loved by me and so many others, just check out my Facebook page today, and you’ll see how many there are wishing you a Happy Birthday!

Have a memorable day my dear son, and know I’m right there in mind and heart celebrating with you!

I love you Darian,

Mom

Out of Sight, Never out of Mind

Dear Beautiful Son Darian,

I have been remiss in getting a writing to you and I will say I am sorry for that.Though you and I have not seen each other in many years now and you may be out of my physical sight you are NEVER out of my mind and NEVER out of my heart with thoughts of love and care for you. Each and every day I wake up you are with me. I know this is your Junior year and I am hoping you are finding subjects to be passionate about and new adventures to engage in.
I spoke to a friend recently and told him of my “writers block” having to do with my blog to you, and he said Charla, it does not have to be a writing from the sermon on the mount, just tell him how you are and that of course you love him!
So with that advice I will say this to you. I am well Darian and my day’s are filled with meaningful work and new relationships. I see in a way that faith can only allow us to see. There is good in most of my ventures and peace throughout most of my days. Most of the time I’m able to see by faith and not exclusively by sight. There is never a moment though, weather I am aware of it or not that I don’t miss you and silently pray for your protection and every bit of happiness for you.

That prayer is and always will be unending.
I am proud of you in everything that I  know you are, and hold dear for you everything you wish to be. I know every bit of your spirit and I trust that God’s navigation of your life with the choices that you are making will be for good.
I wish I could be there with you to see your victories and failures and everything in between. But until the time we are able to meet again and I can hold you near know and trust you are never further than a thought away from me.

With all the precious love I have for you now and forever,

Mom

Forgivness and my meeting with Imaculee Ilibagiza

Dear Beautiful Son Darian,

It has been nearly 3 years since I have seen you, and about that amount of time since I have heard your sweet voice, or had any tangible contact with you until now.Immaculee ILibagiza

You may not know this woman I am standing with, and in the event you do not, let me introduce her to you and the rest of the world.   Her name is Imaculee Ilibagiza, and she is one of the few Women from the Tutsi Tribe of Rwanda, Africa, to have survived the slaughter of all of her tribe, her friends, and all of her family.

In her book called “Left to Tell,” which I read when we were living back in Ventura, I was riveted by her story, her undeniable faith, her will to survive, and now after listening and seeing her at a Hay House event in Austin, Texas, last week, her ability to understand and “Practice Forgiveness.”    You might also want to see the YouTube videos on her experiences.

Darian, her story of this unfathomable event and the 90 days during which she and a handful of other women were hidden in a very small bathroom in order for her life and the lives of others to be spared had me magnetized many years ago.   I never thought  in my lifetime I would have the chance to meet her, and much less tell her our story of the controlled separation that we have both experienced.

Darian what Immaculee ILibagizais amazing is her compassion for her family’s murderer’s and her ability to forgive them is unfounded.   She emulates Jesus’ central message which I believe is to forgive those who trespass against us, and I will freely admit this has been the greatest test for me.  Her compassion for our story was evident and her call for me to continue to believe in God was paramount.

So dear son, my message to you today in this post is this:    When you need someone to mentor to you, make sure you look for a “Champion,” and if that Champion does not have the courage to place forgiveness at the top of their necessary protocols for dealing with the difficult to impossible people in their lives, look for another person that is a true Giant and Champion among us all.   For a true man or woman that possess these rare strengths will help you to grow into a man that has the right mix of love, kindness, insights, fearlessness, and a boldness that means no harm to themselves or others.

Darian let your brilliance and compassion for yourself and others shine!    I know you do and believe you will!

With Unending Love For You,
Mom

This is your room…

My dear Son Darian,

I hope this letter of love and caring finds you well.    I know this is the next post on a blog, a way, to communicate my enduring and unending love and support for you.   As you are getting ready to finish your junior year in high school, I hope it has been a wonderful, stimulating and invigorating time for you.

In the past week, I have felt your presence and thoughts.   Some people may think and even believe that you can’t be with those we love unless they are standing in our orb.   I think quiet opposite of that.

I asked in prayer on Mother’s Day to have some sort of communication with you, as any and ALL Mothers would. Within a few minutes I sensed a change within me, and observed your presence and without a moment’s delay, thoughts that were not mine began to fill my heart and then my mind.

I thank you for your communication in any form it comes to me and as I continue to rely on my faith in the unseen, I can focus my attention on you and believe you receive my love, and care in everything you are doing.5-14

For me some of the most important and comforting memories were those times when your Grandpa would say to me, “Just come home and stay for awhile, you have your room here.”   That gave me a sense of belonging that was so important and vital.    It gave me the energy to continue on my path as a world class makeup artist and it gave me the mental support that I needed even though I never took Grandpa up on his offer until his last few months of his life.    My spirit always remembered that I had a place to rest and renew and remake my life in any way I needed. And with that knowledge, I went on to achieve many of my dreams and goals as a young makeup artist in the film business.

As I prepare a home for me, it comes with a room for you ……. ALWAYS!

Sometimes even if it is only in our minds, it makes all the difference to know there is ALWAYS A ROOM, to come home to if you need rest, recreation, restoration and renewal.

Be well my darling and precious son and know I am proud of you and all of your efforts in this past school year.

With love and pride for you always,

Mom