Time to change the subtitle of Never Give Up Mom, Yay!

Dear loved Son and followers of Never Give Up Mom,

There always comes the time when the title of the story has to change. In this case the blog.   Years ago when I heard your voice (my sons voice) tell my spirit to never give up I not only paid attention but your whispers helped me to change the direction I was headed.

It’s been five years and many post’s later and now it’s time to change the subtitle of this blog to:   A mothers message to the infinite possibilities of reuniting to our missing children and those we love!

The countless prayers that have accompanied my blog post and the hours that Cristal and many other friends gave this project is priceless.   I thank you all, especially Cristal, for your love and tenacity in making my reunion with my son a reality today!

So with the new spirit in subtitle a new direction for NGUM is born.   Stay tuned for my upcoming launch of my book:  “Wonder and Beauty: My journey from Heartbreak to Healing through the Wonder of Horses.”

If you’re interested in receiving information of my launch please leave me your email on this site and I’ll add it to the launch.

Thank you all for following me and God bless you and yours,

Charla….. a never give up Mom

 

 

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It Goes Fast…Darian!

Dear Loved Son,

What a relief! It’s spring … I can feel you are busy in your senior year of High School and I am sure  you are busy and maybe a bit overwhelmed.   In a few months you will graduate I assume, and with that, your “Wings” to your future will be full grown.   I have been writing, loving and mothering from this place called  Never Give Up Mom.com for four years now, and yes today’s post is much easier to contemplate and begin.

I have seen some of your passion through your basketball stats on your school site and your bright and creative self in some of your videos.    Bravo Darian!!

So I will keep this post of LOVE short for you and the others that have followed Never Give Up Mom and just say, ” I am always with you.   Be Brave, have courage and love life.”

I am proud of you in ways that there are no words for…

Love you now and always,

Mom

 

Follow Your Bliss,Darian…

 

Dear Loved Son,

I am hoping you have had a wonderful start to your last year in High School!

I sense you are working hard and doing your best to get ready to step into the world as a young man. These last few precious months that are left in your primary school years are exciting times. I remember mine clearly and how anxious I was to get started on all of my dreams. There are many incredible teachers I’ve had along the way and many insightful authors,speakers and courses I still continue to engage with. I believe learning is a life long practice and I hope you feel the same too. Some of my favorites are, Maya Angelou, John F. Kennedy, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Abraham Lincoln and Dr.Wayne Dyer. There are dozens of great thought leaders I have learned from and many have been some of my best friends. So what can I give you this month to ponder? Well this man, his work and philosophies are among the most impactful and thought provoking I have come across. Maybe you have studied him? After the careers, jobs and work tracks I have had the privilege to engage in I believe the following quote from Joseph Campbell is one of the best bits of knowledge I can share with you.

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

Joseph Campbell

I love you dear son and believe in you whole-heartedly

Learn, Live and Experience your Life, and above all…Follow your Bliss!

Love you Darian, always will!

Mom

 

Anything is Possible Darian…

 

Dear beloved son Darian,

Happy New Year! I hope the start of this year is a good one.  I believe you are in your last year of high school and I remember that my last year of high school was filled with many to do list’s as well as lists filled with the possibility of future endeavors and dreams.

I just came back from a dream of a trip to Montreal, Canada.   For many years now I have dreamed of going to a place called Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal.

When we lived in our house in Ventura, we had the gift of being neighbors to Saint Catherine’s – By The Sea.   A convent where the nuns came from all over the world to retire, and eventually pass away.   One day, as we were picking  apricots off our tree in the back yard we met two of the sisters, Gloria and Betty.   They asked if they could have some of the fruit that was literally growing over the fence on their property.  Quiet happily we gave them bags of the delicious apricots.  That tree produced such an abundance of apricots that year that we were able to fed the neighborhood, as well as the sisters in the convent!

From that meeting on, every morning at 5:30 am, Sister Gloria and Sister Betty along with the others, would pray for us in the chapel that we could see from our bedrooms.  I visited Sister Gloria one day and she gave me a book about a man named Brother Andre.   He was a slight man that had lived through many hardships and heartbreaks in his life.  The book she gave me about Brother Andre and Mount Royal became a road map, inspiration and finally a destination for me this past holiday.  Over the past seven years of my separation with you, I have derived some extraordinary messages and experiences from God.   I have derived a kind of strength from reading Brother Andre’s story over and over again.

My visit to Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal was a DREAM come true.   I could have never put the circumstances together that got me there this past Christmas.   One day, I’d love to fill you in on the details of this story, and I have a feeling you’ll have that look of knowing in your eyes that tells me that you know how it all happened too.

I lit a candle in Oratory in your honor as I always do when I visit churches.   When I lit the candle, its flame was so strong and bright…reminded me of you.

Love you now and always,

Mom

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For the followers of Never Give Up Mom:   I want to offer words of encouragement as well as ideas that help shift the circumstances in your lives.   In honor of those you love, light a candle and say a prayer of reconciliation with the belief that you don’t have to know how to change your current condition of separation, just that one day you will be in the presence of those you love.

 

My Christmas Gift For You

Merry Christmas Dear Son,

A couple of years ago I went to explore, pray and leave a picture of you on the wall at the Santuario De Chimayo. In the raw beauty of the New Mexican landscape is this holy place. There are numerous stories that all share the theme of miracle healing that come from visiting there and from the sacred dirt that lies in a hole in the ground in the cathedral. Santuario De Chimayo drew me into itself like a mother draws you into her arms.

I had heard about the wall of pictures and the power of prayer that came along with the intention of leaving a persons picture there. People come from all over the world, just as I had, to seek healing for their loved ones. In my case it was with my relationship with you. After registering in the chapel store and leaving a prayer request in writing the church took your picture and pinned it to the ever growing wall of people.

I felt that the journey from San Francisco to the Santuario De Chimayo was a calling.  The fog of grief about our separation with you was starting to lift. I have always felt better if I knew I was doing everything in my power to bring healing to you and our relationship.

The Gift this year is a Practice. By leaving your picture on the “Wall of Prayer”, I also left the results of our separation in Gods Hands, and with that a great deal of pain. Darian, I guess what I’m saying is, our best efforts are good enough. By journeying to the middle of the New Mexico desert and pinning your picture to a prayer wall, the only thing left to do was to was to rest knowing it was enough.

Merry Christmas Beloved Son!

Love you now and ever more,

Mom

To the followers of Never Give Up Mom: Thank you for your years of following my blog and the many encouraging comments you have made. This year I would like to leave you with this thought.  Pin any unresolved problems to the wall of prayer, through this blog and practice the most important act of forgiveness for yourself and see what happens. That could be the most precious gift you can receive. Our sons, daughters and other family members that love us, want us to be free of pain and suffering.  I am wishing for you the magic of a holy holiday season and lightness that comes from relinquishing the burdens of your past.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you and yours!!

“I can not logically explain what is going on at El Santuario, but our Lord is there, and he listens.”[March 1997] – See more at: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2168

I TRY NOT TO TAKE THE SILENCE TO HEART…BUT I CAN’T HELP MYSELF SOMETIMES

Beautiful Son Darian,

This is the eve of my birthday. I have come to belief and practice that one should ask for what they want in their life.   I also believe that one needs to work for and earn that as well, at least that is what I have found to be true, so here goes…

But before I make my GREAT DESIRE KNOWN, let me start by thanking all of my friends and some family for their support, prayers and love regarding this Blog of Love and Communication to You and to all parents and children that have been led away or stolen from one another.

Darian, I guess one reason why I write again so soon is because I am one year older and wiser and more alive, and I just don’t want to let more time pass without saying I love you and I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.

So, if you can find a way to contact me in any way I will love that, be it a dream, a thought, via this blog or any other way possible.

BE BOLD, ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT, DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF OR OTHERS, BE INSPIRED BY THINGS NOT SO OBVIOUS, SEE BETWEEN THE LINES, AND DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.YOUR HEART UNDERSTANDS THE TRUTH AND IT REQUIRES SILENCE TO KNOW.

I love you dear son, always have always will…

MOM

To Love Something Despite

 

“It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart?   We love what we love.   Reason does not enter into it.   In many ways, unwise love is the truest love.   Anyone can love a thing because.   That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket.   But to love something despite.   To know the flaws and love them too.   That is rare and pure and perfect.”       ― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

They Tried To Bury Us But They Didn’t Know We Were Seeds

Happy New Year My Dear Son Darian,

I hope this post finds you well.   I couldn’t wish anything else for you.   As I write this for you and every other person in this world that has lost a love and continues to desire a communication with them weather they are living or not, I came across this saying in Pinterest tonight.   This is a seed of love for you and so many.

The title of this post is a Mexican Proverb, so apt because WE have a blood line that is Mexican and so many other nationalities as well.   I used to think down upon this when I was younger but I have come to find that it’s not your blood line that is important but how you see each individual person and most importantly YOURSELF.   I know your dad is from Iran and that is a sever button for many especially in these times, and I’ll admit I’m wondering what the heck these acts that some people carry out, I mean what the HELL can a person be thinking that carry out such atrocities??   It is not holy it’s criminal.

Maybe this post won’t make sense to you and maybe it will anger the beast, but I have been writing for over 2 years to my son in this country of the “free” and I have not had 1 time that I could see you in peace.   It has been more than 6 years.    I have been lied about in 4 courts of law and I simply ran out of money and resources to defend our right to have a peaceful co-parenting existence.   This Is Parent Alienation.

I have been jailed, and basically run out of the county that I raised you in.

I just watched ‘Blood Diamond’ with Leonardo Di Caprio and the boy that is the subject in the movie was stolen, like you, and his father does what ever he can to get him back.   So instead of me writing another post of my enduring devotion and love for you I’m gonna start this year with a bit of fire…seems more appropriate.   Life is short make it count Darian.

I will always be as outspoken with my enduring love for you and your welfare, and I’ll not put myself in harms way any more to see you, but Darian you are on the heels of being a man.   I pray for your happiness every day and your safety.   But I am here and I trust you have every conceivable way to contact me, every way.   I know you are also up against a very difficult situation too.   I have come to terms in most of my day’s that I may not see you as well.   What ever it may be, so be it, but I will also still reach out to you so you know clearly that I love and support you each and every day.   If I could do more I would.

I also pray that every parent that holds their child as a hostage just because they are pissed off at their ex-spouse, should be shown the door for their egotistical, pathological complex.

The point is this:   EVERY CHILD HAS THE RIGHT TO KNOW THEY ARE LOVED, PERIOD.   Freely and Fully! 

And a child that has been taken and twisted at infinitum about the well being of the other parent is truly sick.

So basically I don’t care what ethnic background you come from, I  care that you act humane and especially when it comes to the welfare of your child, grow the …. up or get off  duty as the parent.   The seeds we plant are important and don’t always come in calm tones.   Love is fierce but never aims to harm.   This is my intention in this post to you.

I love you Darian, I’d love to know how you are.

Mom

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL SON DARIAN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SON DARIAN,

I do remember this day 17 years ago and all the minute details that went with this life changing day, for all of us. I have thought of so many things I wanted to say to you on your very special day today.   I had an idea about a little piece of paper that I still have, that has every contraction I had before you were born. I counted the minutes, seconds, checked in with every doctor, friend and family member,  just to make sure I was ‘doing’ it right.

Funny thing about that thought or mind set, so much of your birth and life has been out of my control.   But this post to you is clearly in my control, and as I write this letter of happiness and celebration to you, I am wishing you a wonderful day, celebrating with your friends and family as I always have.

In the picture below, Michael Muir is talking to one of his horses about being his best for it’s new owners.   I’m able to volunteer a bit of time at Rush Ranch in Susiun, Ca.   Michael’s non-profit is called,  Access Adventure, and they do many events a year to help those with disabilities and people in need of hope and healing.

This is the opening statement from Michael Muir, Director of Access Adventure, and Great grandson of the Americas Visionary Conservationist,  John Muir:

“WE FOCUS ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE,  NOT ON WHAT WE HAVE LOST.
THE WORST DISABILITY IS A BAD ATTITUDE.”

So my dear and precious son, if I was able to gift you anything in a box or gift card today it would be  this;

Know you have the vision and tenacity to challenge your limits in life.   You are much freer to focus on your potential than it may seem, and in doing so, your intention and deeds hold all great possibilities, for you and others.   Your so loved by me and so many others, just check out my Facebook page today, and you’ll see how many there are wishing you a Happy Birthday!

Have a memorable day my dear son, and know I’m right there in mind and heart celebrating with you!

I love you Darian,

Mom